Yesterday would have been my Peepaw's 92nd birthday....September 19th would be Meem's 87th birthday. Daddy and Pam went and put fresh flowers on their graves yesterday and sent us the picture above. The thing is - I have been missing them a lot lately and that picture just reminds me HOW MUCH. Especially Meemaw....she was truly one of my best friends, one of THE defining influences in my life, my rock, my foundation - the stability I needed in a sometimes rocky childhood -a stability that never waivered. She made me laugh and she gave the best hugs. She was my biggest fan and always saw the best in me first. She was someone I wanted to be and someone I wanted to be WITH. It has been 3 1/2 years since we lost her and still, I think of her every day. I miss her every day. I would like to know if this empty feeling and ache ever goes away? I keep hoping it will but would that mean some of my favorite memories would fade away too? That is a heck of a price to pay to not miss someone so much. I wonder sometime if I was naive and thought she would live forever...I do not think so. But I wanted her to. Somewhere deep down, even though I am doing fine, I NEEDED her to. I am not sure the point of this post except to very likely make my sister cry. Sorry Aims...:) I am just weighed down lately by how much I miss my grandmom, who was so much more than my grandmom. Maybe if I put all these feelings out into the universe, she will somehow know I have not forgotten her or Peep and never will. Like I have said, folks...not all sunshine and rainbows....keepin' it real! :)
4 comments:
Wow- I don't know why I went back to your blog today (after I already read 2 new posts from you this am), but I am SO happy I did! I have been missing Meem and Peep lately too, and was reminded again yesterday from Daddy's email. You're right- your post did make me cry, but your writing is awesome and you said it so well sis!
I'm not sure what to say ... don't ever forget those you love. It hurts sometimes, but maybe that's the price you pay for keeping them in your heart.
Love you guys,
daddy
I think people DO know that you love them and are thinking about them. Especially when they are gone. And they need to know that you are telling that awesome little boy (who sometimes seems beyond his years!)about them.
I'm proud of you for writing this post, dear friend! It takes guts to be real. I understand your pain. I remember the day of her funeral...sending you the picture of the beautiful Texas sunrise. What I know for sure is that her incredible spirit lives on in YOU. It is ok to miss her. The bigger the love, the bigger the loss. Big hugs from Texas.
Post a Comment